Saturday, April 4, 2009

An Emotional Engagement

As a wedding planner I am dedicated to understanding every aspect of weddings and marriage, including the engagement. Since I work with couples throughout their engagement I really wanted to understand this process of the marriage better. I found a book called Emotionally Engaged by Allison Moir-Smith. First off I want to recommend this book to every engaged, or about to be engaged girl. I loved this book because it ensures you that everything you feel is perfect to feel. No body expects you to be the perfect perky "bride to be" all of the time. The author has a background in psychology so she explains psychologically what changes during your engagement. Her main goal in writing the book is to challenge brides to feel and explore all of their feelings through out their engagement.

This book had a strong impact on me for two reasons. 1. I am an "almost" engaged girl so it helped me process my feelings I was starting to have. 2. I work with so many brides who put on a happy face for their moms and bridesmaids and get so wrapped up in the stigma of "bride to be" that they finally snap. This is where the show Bridezillas becomes reality television. It is never healthy to bottle up all your emotions, especially during an incredibly stressful and emotional process like an engagement.

I urge all fiances and brides to open up to somebody about your feelings. Either a friend or your fiance or even a therapist. I have personally seen the difference in brides who express their stress and frustration throughout their engagement and those who do not. My job as a planner is to make your engagement less stressful so you can enjoy it, so feel what you want and enjoy being engaged. It is such a short amount of time in your relationship together. You will only be engaged to eachother once, so cherish it and all the changes that come with it.

1 comment:

  1. Interesting. I think this is valuable advice. A lot of people are not honest about their emotions and play the role of having the gushing "first love" euphoria all the time. I've suspicioned that they they weren't being completely honest with themselves.